Now, you may think religion is “the opiate of the masses” as many do today. One of the child psychologists I asked to
review Loving Firmness wrote me after reading it (note that she was the
only psychologist that I asked who declined to endorse the book), “I’m a
secular human being and ... do not consider morality and values as synonymous
with organized religion. Nor do I think
good parenting skills are the sole enclave of those who are so affiliated. For some individuals it may be a wonderful support
system, but one has only to consider those fundamentalists, clearly committed
to an established religion, who proudly raise children to become suicide
bombers.
Thank you for providing me with the
advance review copy. Again, I found much
of what you wrote clever and wise.
Respectfully, I will not be able to endorse this book due to its
pervasive religious bent.”
I wrote her back and said, “I tried to
express the point that morals and values were necessary for effective
parenting, but I didn’t mean that organized religion was the only place where
values could be taught....
I do believe that people need to be
able to articulate a moral code in order to be effective parents, and I think
that a group of people who believe in the same principles makes things a whole
lot easier. But I had no intention of
promoting fundamentalism that results in great evil.”
All of the pediatricians and therapists
I talked to and those whose endorsements are on my website have assured me that
adolescents need concrete boundaries, and they said that religion provides
those boundaries more effectively than most families can by themselves . So,
while I’m sorry that my humanist friend disagrees, I think I’m on pretty solid
ground when I urge parents to get active in an established religion.
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