Saturday, May 5, 2012

Teaching Morality Can Be Complicated


        Now, you may think religion is “the opiate of the masses” as many do today.  One of the child psychologists I asked to review Loving Firmness wrote me after reading it (note that she was the only psychologist that I asked who declined to endorse the book), “I’m a secular human being and ... do not consider morality and values as synonymous with organized religion.  Nor do I think good parenting skills are the sole enclave of those who are so affiliated.  For some individuals it may be a wonderful support system, but one has only to consider those fundamentalists, clearly committed to an established religion, who proudly raise children to become suicide bombers.
         Thank you for providing me with the advance review copy.  Again, I found much of what you wrote clever and wise.  Respectfully, I will not be able to endorse this book due to its pervasive religious bent.”
         I wrote her back and said, “I tried to express the point that morals and values were necessary for effective parenting, but I didn’t mean that organized religion was the only place where values could be taught.... 
         I do believe that people need to be able to articulate a moral code in order to be effective parents, and I think that a group of people who believe in the same principles makes things a whole lot easier.  But I had no intention of promoting fundamentalism that results in great evil.”
         All of the pediatricians and therapists I talked to and those whose endorsements are on my website have assured me that adolescents need concrete boundaries, and they said that religion provides those boundaries more effectively than most families can by themselves . So, while I’m sorry that my humanist friend disagrees, I think I’m on pretty solid ground when I urge parents to get active in an established religion.
         However, I’d really like to hear from you about this issue–do you agree with me or my friend?  Or are you somewhere in the middle?  Please e-mail me at heavenhelpusbeourbest@gmail.com, visit my website: www.corrielynneplayer.com

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