Last week, I described the Chocolate Chip Point System, which is useful for young or developmentally delayed children. This week I’ll talk in general terms about the version for middle childhood. Do remember that specific help is available as you apply the concepts and interact with me about your particular situation, via the internet.
MIDDLE CHILDHOOD (ages 6 - 10)
This stage of child development is wonderful. You’re not dealing with diapers, bottles, and all the messes of infancy and toddlerhood. These kids can (usually) be trusted not to put keys into light sockets, flush toys down the toilet, or grab the toaster oven. While they don’t need you to watch them every minute and can be left to explore a bit on their own, they do need you to establish and reinforce your family’s moral and ethical standards of behavior. Just because they can be counted on to wipe their own noses, doesn’t mean they can decide whether or not to go to school, eat meals with the family, or hunch over hand-held games for most of their waking hours.
As in using the Point System with younger children, you must introduce the program in ways that catch their attention and motivate them to cooperate. You can come up with all sorts of great ideas, but not much will be accomplished if you resort to force or demands.
Once a kid has started reading and using numbers in school, he’s ready to progress beyond the more tangible chocolate chip version. He will understand the three categories: Attitude, Environmental Responsibility, and Chores. These are evaluated on the basis of: 10 Points in the following manner:
10 = Outstanding.
05 Points = OK
02 Points = You Could Do Better.
The following description should be posted beside the charts, so the child knows just what is meant by each category: “Good Attitude” means that you smile and talk nicely. If you don’t want something, you say, “No thank you.” You say, “Please”, “thank you” and “you’re welcome.” You never hit each other or do anything to deliberately annoy another person. You try to do nice things for people. You share and are kind. You act as grown up and polite as you can.
“Environmental Responsibility (Picking Up) means that you put trash in the garbage can, your coat in the closet, and your books on the desk or your bed. You put your toys and clothes away where they belong. You are helpful and do more than your share–if you see something out of place, you take care of it.
“Chores” means that you take care of your assigned work independently, and without nagging. You do things which need to be done. You set the table, sweep the floor, clean trash out of the car, or finish any other chore that Mom or Dad assign. If you do chores for somebody else, you can earn extra points.
Next week I’ll tell you about the third version as I’ve adapted it for teenagers, plus I’ll give more advice about implementing the system.
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